A VALENTINE MEMORY

Today is Valentine's day, Craig has taken E + B lane swimming, whilst number #3 is dressing the dining room table for a special Valentine's Day elevens's....we are having Dutch waffles, ice-cream, squirty cream & chocolate flake (not me, as I have to keep my sugar intake down!), with crackers and party poppers!

Time does fly by so quickly...so it is important to Craig and I that this year is not consumed by my illness...so when and where possible, we want to create times which will stand out in our children's memories as fun and enjoyable. When we are gone we would love our children to say that we taught them great things-but more importantly that we did fun things together!

My new hair-cut and wig ;-)

HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW !

Today at 4pm my lovely hairdresser, Sarah, shaved off all my hair, as it had been rapidly falling out all week and had become very annoying (everyday I felt as if I had just had a hair cut with prickly hair slipping down my back and covering my clothes). I have to admit the experience was not as traumatic as I thought (although I do look quite scary - my eldest daughter burst into tears when she saw me and my youngest said "mum can you put your wig on?!"). My friends Liz and Lucy were here to offer moral support and take photos which was great !

The day before I did feel a bit "oh no" realising that from now on I would look like Sinead 'O' Connor without the voice or the good looks, so in fact I won't look like her at all but more like Kojak without the lollies - but then I had to remind myself that my hair is only part of my appearance and does not define who I am. As a christian my identity is in Christ:-

• I am a new creation;
• I have received God's righteousness;
• I am blessed with every spiritual blessing;
• I am God's work of art;
• I have been brought near to God;
• I can come with freedom and confidence into God's presence
• I am set free from my sinful nature
• I am marked as belonging to God, by the Holy Spirit
• I will have eternal glory;
• I am chosen by God
• I am adopted as God's child.....

Which makes me a daughter of a King (a loved-beyond-measure daughter of a King - wow!) - a Princess in fact (according to the bible)! So I will therefore raise my head high and meet each new challenge knowing that "I am fearfully and wonderfully made" and that my life is "Hidden with Christ on high" and that He is the one who brings significance to my life, He is the one who defines who I am (with or without the hair!)

1 DOWN, 5 TO GO!

My first chemo was over 2 weeks ago now and I feel so much better (hurrah). I had been suffering with quite a lot of pain since before Christmas and had been taking pain killers 3/4 times a day and sleeping very badly due to discomfort. But now I am pain-free and have taken no medication since last Sunday which is wonderful as the tablets made me feel like I was on another planet (although Craig would say I have always been on another planet!).
I have also felt well enough to clean bathrooms and cook meals (is that a good thing or not?!) - so life for me feels much more normal (and normal feels great, normal is good... I love normal - don't knock normal!)... I can only put this down to the power of prayer; I am very fortunate in having so many people praying for me which is wonderful - I feel very blessed!
Every Thursday evening the elders and wives from church come and pray and anoint me with oil for healing....along with Craig and the children (who seem to use the opportunity to smear me with as much olive oil as possible!). The bible says "If two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven" - people have been praying for me to be pain-free and it has happened (Thank you God, you are very gracious!) - and as from Friday morning my stomach seems to have started going down which is more good news as I don't like looking 8 months pregnant at the age of 47!!

Wednesday morning I gave my eyebrows a bit of a tug to see if I had started to loose any hair and about 5 hairs came out - so I have decided not to do that again! But, yes it's started to happen and I expect by the end of next week I could possibly be bald (so look out for the Kojak picture!).

My strength in these days comes from my faith in God. One of my favourite verses of scripture is from Isaiah 41:13 "For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand" so on good days and bad days, during CT scans and on chemo-wards, "God holds me by the right hand" - how marvellous is that - because if "he is for me who can be against me?!".

4 things I am grateful for:

• My husband Craig who is walking this path with me and "holding me by the left hand" - I couldn't do this without him.
• Being normal
• Girlfriends (that includes my sis!)
• Being able to drink coffee again (hurrah!) especially as we have just bought a cappuccino maker!

A BAD HAIR DAY....?

Please use the vote button on the RHS to make your choice.....

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Photo 5 Photo 6

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3 things I am grateful for:-

• laughter.
• my children being heroic in these days.
• learning that the fight of faith is a day-to-day fight : I am more than a conqueror in Christ who strengthens me (this scripture came to mind today as they jabbed into my arm over and over again to find a vein) !
  

A HAT DAY

On Friday I ventured into Reading with 3 very good friends to buy hats for my new "Tele Savalas" look. I tried on all sorts and much fun and merriment was had! 20 minutes later we were sitting in a coffee shop sipping cappuccino's with my 2 brand new chique hats and chatting and laughing some more. The girls reminded me that Craig said on his blog that there was nothing he'd rather spend money on - I therefore felt no guilt whatsoever in going into "White Stuff" and purchasing 2 new tops whilst being cheered on by my friends!

After a shopping trip which lasted all of one and a half hours (that truly shows how exhausted I am becoming), I limped slowly back to the car park. One of my friends took my arm, the others carried my shopping between them (I forgot to mention all my heavy purchases from the health food shop - I shall be regular for months - especially as Craig and I ate a whole pack of dates in one evening!) and they gently led me back to the car and helped me in.

When I got home I was reminded of a passage of scripture which had stuck in my mind from last year from 1 Chronicles - starting from Chapter 23 David lists the Levites, the singers, the gatekeepers, the army divisions and then the Kings own overseers until the second to last verse of Chapter 27 he mentions "Hushai the Arkite was the King's friend". Even the great King David needed a friend. Friends are God given. They laugh and cry with us. They encourage and shape us. They sharpen and spur us on. And when we are tired and weary they lift us to God in prayer and support us just as Aaron and Hur did with Moses.

Over the last weeks I have been inundated with texts and cards of support and encouragement. I have had meals made and soup lovingly boxed up for different days, my children cared for, my dog walked, I have been taken to hospital, taken for lunch, lovingly prayed for and my toilet cleaned!

1 Mackay:27 "You are all Karena's friends and she loves you very much - you are God given"

3 things that I am grateful for today:

friends
friends
friends